Back when I had a 9 to 5 job, one of my coworkers had twins. This was before I had personally experienced parenthood myself, and I stupidly commented how cool it must be to have twins. The look she gave me truly defies description, but comes close to the one I give people when they say they wish they had goats. It is an expression that says,” I both envy and pity your ignorance of the reality of this situation”.
Lets get the gross truth out of the way, goats poop. A lot. They have no way to control their output. It is everywhere. All the time.
The volume of goat related videos all over the internet is proof that they are the natural comedians of the animal kingdom. Goats are acrobats, escape artists and athletes. Please keep this in mind if you are considering goat ownership. Goats are amazing climbers. You may have seen the photo of the tree covered in goats and thought to yourself, “that must be photoshopped”. Nope. Goats, particularly the African breeds, were selected to climb to reach food and evade predators. Most of the dwarf and Pygmy breeds are descendent of these animals. Cars, patio furniture, picnic tables, piles of firewood, anything off the ground becomes a goat playground. Please keep my first point in mind when considering this fact.
You have probably heard that goats will eat anything. Goats are actually quite the gourmands and will basically only eat the things we like to eat and also the things we think are pretty. And they will eat these things to the ground. Roses, veggies, fruit, herbs, all very yummy to the goat. I live in a deer intensive area. I assumed goats would avoid the same plants deer won’t touch. Think again. Agave, cactus, rosemary, mint, all eaten to the ground. Cactus! Really! Not to mention toxic plants. (I must admit, my goats have eaten supposedly toxic plants with no ill effect, but still, be careful.) Goats do not self sensor when it comes to food.
Goats head butt. This is how they play and fight and communicate. We have Pygmy goats. They weigh between 20 and 45 pounds. Full size goats can be over 100 pounds. I have come to accept that as long as we have goats, I will have shins covered in bruises. Goats are also very mouthy. Don’t be fooled by the fact they only have bottom teeth. My goats like to lick. Cute right? Not when the also scrape with those adorable teeth.
So why do we keep them around? Goats are hilarious, sweet natured and damned cute. They produce yummy milk and cozy fiber. They can pull carts and carry packs. They are friendly, unpredictable and entertaining companions. If you have lots of space and patience, and don’t mind a little mess, a goat may just be for you.
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